Ryan is getting sick

Well, the weekend is over. I swear I never left work. It was a very busy weekend. Friday, Ryan and I got to spend some great time together playing. Since I had the flu during the week I wasn't able to handle him for a couple days. Whenever he isn't around me for a day or so, he gets very clingy. So Grandma Fran and Ryan's biological father(Greg) came for a visit on Saturday. I really enjoyed meeting Fran and see her interact with Ryan. There wasn't any interaction with Greg. Ryan got a cute stuffed puppy and two books. We read those last night and we named the puppy, Harley!!!! I am sad for Ryan right now that I haven't provided him with a united family. I am only one person and can only control myself. Its sad for Ryan and as his mom I want him to have a very full life. I hold a lot of resentment that a person can be so unmotivated or unaccountable to their child. I'm happy with the person and mother that I have become. I'm glad that I can be aware of others feelings, struggles and am aware that there is a world around me that I will only get to enjoy once. I suppose that comes with the death of my dad at age 50. I know that life is short and I get one chance to make this life worth something. So I'm just sad today and have been been wanting to hold Ryan alot(he doesn't always want that) and I'm sad that he isn't a baby anymore. I'm sad that I probably wont have anymore children.
Now, I'm picking myself up and enjoy our special moments that not one other person can take away.
Thanks you for coming to visit Ryan and the gifts.

Sunday, Ryan and I went to two open houses in town. One a new home and one an old home. We went to dinner at our neighbors and they had a bible study. That is something Ive never taken part in and I felt uncomfortable as I never grew up in church. All in all, we had a nice evening and they are going to pray for Ryan and his upcoming surgery.

Looking forward to this weekend as I have been invited to a Girls only party at my friend Pamela's. Its a Passion Party. The name says it all. It will be fun to hang out with the girls from work. They are fun to be around. We are spending the weekend at Oma and Opa's as I have to be in Peoria very early Saturday morning and don't want to drive back and forth. Sunday Lindsay and Benji are coming in town. We haven't seen them in awhile and are going to exchange Xmas gifts with them.
Not much else to report. I did send out some pictures of Ryan. Hope everyone has a great week. Ryan will be on a calendar and brochures for Child and Family Connections, this is where the patient care coordinator is. Her name is Jennifer. She is so nice. Physical therapy starts at the end of this month again.

Stay Warm, take care and hold those little one's close.

Love,
Becky